I was watching a show saved on our DVR that was originally aired on Veterans Day. During one of the commercial breaks, I was delayed getting to the fast-forward button, so the first commercial began. When it ended, I rewound and watched it again; and again; and again. I was practically in tears! USAA was thanking everyone who dared to take the oath to join the armed forces.
Not just those who fought in a war. Not just those who were deployed overseas during their time of service. And not only those who completed a full term of enlistment or as a commissioned officer, or graduated from a service academy.
They appreciate everyone that simply dared to sign up to serve, regardless of their performance or the circumstances of their discharge. To me, it was a game changing message. Plus, it echoed the words of an old friend. Why, you ask?
Because I dared. I dared against the advice of many people around me. I dared when most people said it was a bad time for me to do so. I dared anyway. On July 24, 1998, at the Indianapolis MEPS, I dared to take the oath to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America against all enemies foreign and domestic.” On September 2, 1998, I kissed my proud, tearful, pregnant wife and our 3 and a half year old son goodbye, boarded a van bound for the Indianapolis MEPS again, then the following day I arrived at the United States Navy Recruit Training Command in Great Lakes, IL. On July 8, 1999, I was administratively discharged under honorable conditions.
Apparently, the stress of military life plus having a new baby did not mesh well with me. My mind and body began rebelling in ways I couldn’t control. At first, I was getting in trouble for oversleeping and showing up late. Then, my wife witnessed some strange behaviors occurring at night. Finally, after I dropped my baby because I fell asleep holding her, I sought help. Sleepwalking was the diagnosis. The options were to ignore it or be discharged.
Ignoring it didn’t work, so ultimately, I was sent packing. For a while, I just accepted it. Then, for a long time, I was ashamed. I wasn’t strong enough or good enough. I couldn’t even fulfill one term of enlistment. I never even made it to a ship. I wasn’t sure I was actually a veteran, so I wasn’t comfortable discussing the fact I was even in the Navy. So I mentioned it to a friend I grew up with, Michelle Breyer, who is a Marine officer currently serving in either Japan or Korea.
She said it doesn’t matter what happened, because at least I was willing to make the sacrifice. I signed up, finished boot camp, and performed well throughout training and in school. The results were beyond my control.
As a father I can easily grasp this message because I try to tell my kids the same thing. You can’t control everything. If you maintain the little disciplines and put yourself in a position to where you are prepared to handle almost anything, or serve beyond your own personal accommodations; then you have done your job and you are successful. If you have put your own ambitions of personal wealth and comfort aside and took an oath to promote freedom and democracy around the world; then you are a veteran. Thank you, USAA and Michelle, because you have helped me remember and realize my true identity and my creed.
I am a husband and father of four, because I love to be. I am a college graduate, because I put in the time, worked hard and never gave up. I am not where I thought I would be, professionally, but I am dedicated to continual development; because I want to be.
“I am a United States Sailor…” because I dared to be.
Pat'spective 